If I tried to communicate all of my adventures in one post, I think the Internet would crash. So to remedy that, I am splitting this up into three posts, one for each type of job. This will mess up the chronology slightly, but that doesn't actually matter. So here goes! This post will be about my adventures with the BARS Program, gotten through the temp agency.
The BARS Program is a company that hires people between twenty-one and twenty-five. They are given a list of convenience stores, gas stations, restaurants, liquor stores, and the like. They go to each on one day, ask for cigarettes or liquor, as per the list, and give the clerk a card depending on their performance. If they ask for ID, a green card and a smile. This they deliver to their manager. The secret shopper leaves, writes down such information as date, time, color card, and employee's name. If they ask for money before ID, they get a red card, which they also have to give to the manager. At the end of the route, the secret shopper calls in and reports the results of each stop, and the BARS Program later checks in with those stores to see if the S.S. was indeed there at that time on that date and if Joe really did receive a green card. That's the way it works.
My first route was a disaster. That evening I discovered that I inherited what we call my mom's "directionally challenged" gene. I got it bad. I started at 4:00 P.M. My first stop should have been around 4:30, since it was a little bit out there. It was 6:00 by the time I got there. Not a good way to start. I was so lost I didn't even know where I was. I pulled into a shopping center and walked through the Home Depot quickly, looking for someone who looked like they could help me. Simply by looking at the clientele, I realized I'd gotten myself into Prince George's County. "Oh crud, not here!" was about the extend of my thought process. I promptly left the store, began walking back to my car, and saw a man and woman wearing T-shirts advertising their Baptist church. I decided to ask them for help before I left, and they informed me that I was in Bowie. I wanted to be in Columbia. Darn. But, at least I knew where in the world I was. I was SO glad I had a map in the car. I think I would have given up without it. I got myself back on track and did about half the route before more trouble happened.
I had wandered through Bowie, Columbia, Glen Burnie, Severna Park, and Pasadena. I was almost done, just a few more stops, when suddenly I realized I'd skipped one. I had no idea which 7-11 I'd missed, but I had. I started to panic, but decided to finish the route and then go back and find that last store. I knew it had to be somewhere in Pasadena, which helped. I did everything else, and it was 10:30 by this point (because I'd gotten turned around a few times in there), and I was so ready to go home. I called the BARS people, hoping they could help me figure out how to find this stop. The guy said, "Uhhh, I only take completed route calls. I have no idea how this works. Uhhh, I hope you find it?" That was reassuring.
I looked at the address of the one I thought I missed, and looked at my map. For whatever reason, I was convinced I had to go around all four sides of the square rather than just travel that one leg of it, and didn't realize how dumb that was until I was half way around the square. I was hungry, tired, overwhelmed, and barely holding myself together. I just wanted to cry. I've never felt like such a royal failure. I got onto the B&A Boulevard again, and suddenly realized that wasn't where I wanted to be, and had no idea where I was (again). I pulled into a 7-11 to check my map (AGAIN), and thought, "Wouldn't it be crazy if this were the one I need?" But I knew that wasn't possible. I hadn't been to this 7-11 yet, and happened to glance at the store address. Then, looking down to my sheet to find the address of the one I was looking for, I saw the same address! I was right where I needed to be! I was so excited I almost started crying. I pulled myself together, finished the job, and adjusted my list. As I drove home, I had a panic attack because I thought I was going the wrong way. Then I thought, "NO! You're heading South! Riva is South of Severna Park! KEEP GOING!" So I did. Then I passed where I worked last Summer and sobbed a little, because I now knew absolutely where I was. I got home around 11:30, and called in my list. My mom poured me a very large glass of wine, and we stayed up talking until 1:00, which was much nicer than bawling.
It was really interesting noticing the reactions people had to their cards. The first was a red card, and he tried to get out of it by protesting that he could tell I was over eighteen. Tough luck. Whenever a girl got a red card, she accepted her fate, so to speak. One man really got angry with me. He was around forty, and had had a difficult time with the customer in front of me, so I kept thinking, "Please card me. Please card me. You don't want a red card right now. Please card me." He didn't. He used the same excuse about being able to tell I was over age, and I said, "I'm sorry, but you have to card." I walked away, and he yelled after me, "Well thank you! Thank you very much! I LOVE getting red cards!" As I drove off, I thought, "Well, keep it up. I'm sure you'll love getting a pink slip." I always think of good come-backs when it's too late.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My second round with the BARS Program went MUCH more smoothly. I used my dad's GPS, which I didn't even know we had, so I didn't get lost. Everyone was a winner that day. It was a little more exciting, since I got to go to restaurants too and wait for a drink at the bar. My first stop was fun. I popped into a gas station, and asked for whatever my favorite cigarette brand was that time. The lady behind the counter was probably in her sixties, and looked like she should work at a pancake house. I asked for the cigs, and she looked at me with a calculating expression. She asked for my ID, and I gave her the green card. She chuckled and said, "I thought so. I didn't recognize you." That was unbelievable to me. I hadn't realized Stevensville was that small an area that she could recognize her customers. My stop at the Dave & Buster's in the Marley Station Mall was probably the most fun. I saw a mall cop on a segue. I didn't know they actually rode those. I thought that was a joke. It is a joke, made all the more hilarious because it actually happens. I walked in, ordered a Miller Lite, because it's a girlie beer, and was carded. In the restaurant situations, you have to take the card directly to the manager, so the guy behind the bar went to get him. I followed him, which he didn't realize. He disappeared into an Employee's Only door. A few minutes later, I heard, "...another one! I'm on a roll! Woohoo!" At this point, he came out and saw me. He stopped dead. "Umm yes, this is the young lady right here. Yes." I shook hands with his boss, who exclaimed over the hardness of my grip and told the bartender to watch out for my handshake, and then left. I was actually home at a decent hour that time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My third and, so far, final experience with this job was also fine. I didn't take the GPS because I was very familiar with the area, having gotten lost in it so many times the first night. It was an eight stop route, and I was allowed to do it in the morning, which was quite nice. Everything went without hiccup until the second-to-last stop. Up to this point, nobody had received a red card. I walked in to the Sunoco and asked for some cigarettes (again, whatever my favorite brand was that day). The teller was short, pasty white with glasses, pale hair, and bad teeth. Your typical basement dwelling fungi. He looked like he spent all day playing Dungeons and Dragons. I bet he was a level seventeen warlock. I placed my order, he sized me up, and asked for the money. I pulled out a red card. "How old are you?" he blurted. "Twenty-one," I replied. "I knew it! I knew you were old enough! Didn't you see the way I looked at you?" "Yes," I said, "but that doesn't matter. You must card anyone who appears to be under thirty." "But I knew you were old enough! I didn't want to insult you!" "Sorry," I responded. "The law's the law." He took the card. "Yeah?" he asked. "And anger is anger and temper is temper." He ripped the card into tiny pieces. I shrugged. "And a pink slip is a pink slip," I said and walked away. Later, when I called in my list, I told the lady that he had ripped it up, so that his manager would have no record of the incident. "But why would he do that?" she asked. "Because he was mad that he got a red card," I said. She couldn't believe it. I was surprised no one had done that before. I'm not sure how he'll fare, but I can't imagine his boss being too pleased with that. The stores pay to have the BARS Program check them, so it really won't go over well. It was fun, though, and so satisfying to say that. I was a little afraid, though, and I don't know why. He couldn't have beat me up. Maybe I was afraid he'd fly over the counter at me and try one of his D&D spells or something.
Well, that's enough for now. Maybe I'll get another route sometime.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
No More Nordstrom
Last night was my last night at Nordstrom. The job is finished, so we move on. But before I talk about yesterday, I need to jump back to the day before, since I didn't post yesterday. I know. I'm a sinner.
Not a whole lot worth mentioning happened Tuesday night. I sat with Mr. Perry at dinner, which was a blast. We talked about movies, and he started telling me about serving in Korea. All I can say is wow! He got into the Army at fifteen, because he lied about his age. He was captured pretty soon and was in a POW camp for two and a half years, while he was sixteen and seventeen. He said they were served a single bowl of rice every day; he showed me with his hands the size of the bowl, and it was between a tea cup and a coffee mug. That's it. He said he can't eat much now because he's positive his stomach shrunk after two and a half years of that. When he was first captured, they stuck him in a mud room with a single light bulb that they left on constantly for two weeks. Then they turned it off for two weeks. Then on for two weeks. And so on and so on, until he didn't care anymore and they found something new to do. Every morning, though, for the first month they would come in to wake him and the others up by putting a rifle barrel to the head and pulling the trigger. You never knew if it would go off or not. He said by the end of the month you didn't care if it did go off, and rather hoped it would. Once they reached that point, the enemy stopped that tactic and found some other way to mess with their minds. They were beaten every day with bamboo poles. He didn't say much more, except that to this day he'll wake up in a cold sweat because of nightmares. He hates how people say we should just forget about the war. He can't. He has shrapnel in his hip and hearing aids to remind him every second of every day, and dreams at night. His two older brothers, who were much older than him, both served at Normandy in WWII. One was a paratrooper and the other came in on a pontoon boat. Both made it. He's a pretty tough man. I can't imagine somebody joining the military at fifteen. That would be my little brother next year. He probably joined right as the war started, which means he was in training and served for six months, then spent the rest of the war in the POW camp. I guess the only reason he got out was because the war ended. That was pretty much all that happened Tuesday night; I went home at 2:30 A.M. which was exciting. Not.
The reason going to bed at 3:00 in the morning was so difficult was because I had to be up again at 6:30 to get cleaned up and go to Baltimore for training for my banquet serving job. The location was Sylvester's Saloon in Essex, close to Rosedale. I read the map, and, being thoroughly unfamiliar with Baltimore, I thought that Sylvester's Saloon must be slightly upscale. After all, it's a saloon and not a bar. No. I was so in the ghetto! Sylvester's Saloon is this white trash honky tonk right next to Sylvester's Garage, a white trash mechanic shop. All right in the middle of the ghetto, at 8:30 A.M. I thought, "What in the WORLD am I doing here? What have I gotten myself into?" I went into the upstairs room that we had for our uses, filled out my paper work, and felt more comfortable when I found out that my bosses know the guy who owns the place. He let them borrow the room when they couldn't borrow a hotel dining room. So in the upper room of a trashy ghetto bar, I learned French service, timed sweep, and other various techniques. We had a table set formally, and were practicing French serving the soup. We had no tureen, just a stainless steel mixing bowl filled with water and a cheap ladle. That was classy. My boss said, "Yes, and if you're ever at a banquet and that's what you're using to French serve the soup, fire me." It was so much fun! Right about that time the hilarity of the situation hit me. The complete and utter divide between where I was and what I was doing was incredible. I think God is just having fun messing with me this Summer. So after that, I was planning on meeting one of my pastors for lunch and catching up, but he was sick, but I went to the church office anyway and hung out with all of my old coworkers. They got me up to speed with all of the latest news in the office. One lady is now a grandma, and her family came in and paraded the baby around. It was so good to be with them again! Then I went home, took care of a few things, and napped for about an hour. Then it was dinner time and off to work for one last night.
The first exciting part of last night was that the trucks were actually on time! That meant we were an hour ahead of where we'd been the previous nights. During break I gave Enon Alice in Wonderland, since I hadn't been able to the night before. He must have thought I was kidding before, because he seemed really touched. He wanted my number so we could read it together and talk about it. I slipped out of that one, but I think we'll be working on the same assignment in a week or so, so we'll be able to discuss it then. I'll have to read it in the meantime. Mr. Perry came in his uniform last night and had his Purple Heart pinned on. Apparently management gave him a hard time about not wearing his uniform and only wearing a security T-shirt. I got off work at 10:30, which was great. There just wasn't that much to do. About 10:15, I was asking various managers what I could do, when Shawn came up. He made one more valiant (HA!) effort. "What's up? I heard you was looking for me," he said. "No. I'm looking for Elizabeth." "Oh OK, I must have been misinformed." He sauntered off and went outside. He walked right past Mr. Perry, who was sitting behind a stack of dollies. He must have noticed that Shawn was wearing his dorky blue hat again, because he poked his head around the dollies, pointed to the door, and mouthed, "That him?" I made a face and nodded. He started chuckling to himself, and I heard him say, "Pah, Burger King!" I never gave Shawn I Kissed Dating Goodbye because my dad really did not like the idea. He said that's not the kind of crowd to joke around with like that. He didn't want me getting shot on the way out. I agree, it would have been a pretty dumb idea, but the death-and-mayhem part of me really wonders what would have happened if I had given it to him. Oh well!
So that was pretty much the extent of my night shift adventures. In a few hours I'm going into the office to get briefed on my next assignment. I'll be driving to various 7-11s tonight to see if they card me when I try to buy cigarettes. I guess I should figure out what brand I like. =P This job will only be a two day assignment, tonight and Monday night. It should be really fun! I'm also working my first banquet Saturday night. I'll be wearing a tux, except for the jacket. It should be interesting!
Not a whole lot worth mentioning happened Tuesday night. I sat with Mr. Perry at dinner, which was a blast. We talked about movies, and he started telling me about serving in Korea. All I can say is wow! He got into the Army at fifteen, because he lied about his age. He was captured pretty soon and was in a POW camp for two and a half years, while he was sixteen and seventeen. He said they were served a single bowl of rice every day; he showed me with his hands the size of the bowl, and it was between a tea cup and a coffee mug. That's it. He said he can't eat much now because he's positive his stomach shrunk after two and a half years of that. When he was first captured, they stuck him in a mud room with a single light bulb that they left on constantly for two weeks. Then they turned it off for two weeks. Then on for two weeks. And so on and so on, until he didn't care anymore and they found something new to do. Every morning, though, for the first month they would come in to wake him and the others up by putting a rifle barrel to the head and pulling the trigger. You never knew if it would go off or not. He said by the end of the month you didn't care if it did go off, and rather hoped it would. Once they reached that point, the enemy stopped that tactic and found some other way to mess with their minds. They were beaten every day with bamboo poles. He didn't say much more, except that to this day he'll wake up in a cold sweat because of nightmares. He hates how people say we should just forget about the war. He can't. He has shrapnel in his hip and hearing aids to remind him every second of every day, and dreams at night. His two older brothers, who were much older than him, both served at Normandy in WWII. One was a paratrooper and the other came in on a pontoon boat. Both made it. He's a pretty tough man. I can't imagine somebody joining the military at fifteen. That would be my little brother next year. He probably joined right as the war started, which means he was in training and served for six months, then spent the rest of the war in the POW camp. I guess the only reason he got out was because the war ended. That was pretty much all that happened Tuesday night; I went home at 2:30 A.M. which was exciting. Not.
The reason going to bed at 3:00 in the morning was so difficult was because I had to be up again at 6:30 to get cleaned up and go to Baltimore for training for my banquet serving job. The location was Sylvester's Saloon in Essex, close to Rosedale. I read the map, and, being thoroughly unfamiliar with Baltimore, I thought that Sylvester's Saloon must be slightly upscale. After all, it's a saloon and not a bar. No. I was so in the ghetto! Sylvester's Saloon is this white trash honky tonk right next to Sylvester's Garage, a white trash mechanic shop. All right in the middle of the ghetto, at 8:30 A.M. I thought, "What in the WORLD am I doing here? What have I gotten myself into?" I went into the upstairs room that we had for our uses, filled out my paper work, and felt more comfortable when I found out that my bosses know the guy who owns the place. He let them borrow the room when they couldn't borrow a hotel dining room. So in the upper room of a trashy ghetto bar, I learned French service, timed sweep, and other various techniques. We had a table set formally, and were practicing French serving the soup. We had no tureen, just a stainless steel mixing bowl filled with water and a cheap ladle. That was classy. My boss said, "Yes, and if you're ever at a banquet and that's what you're using to French serve the soup, fire me." It was so much fun! Right about that time the hilarity of the situation hit me. The complete and utter divide between where I was and what I was doing was incredible. I think God is just having fun messing with me this Summer. So after that, I was planning on meeting one of my pastors for lunch and catching up, but he was sick, but I went to the church office anyway and hung out with all of my old coworkers. They got me up to speed with all of the latest news in the office. One lady is now a grandma, and her family came in and paraded the baby around. It was so good to be with them again! Then I went home, took care of a few things, and napped for about an hour. Then it was dinner time and off to work for one last night.
The first exciting part of last night was that the trucks were actually on time! That meant we were an hour ahead of where we'd been the previous nights. During break I gave Enon Alice in Wonderland, since I hadn't been able to the night before. He must have thought I was kidding before, because he seemed really touched. He wanted my number so we could read it together and talk about it. I slipped out of that one, but I think we'll be working on the same assignment in a week or so, so we'll be able to discuss it then. I'll have to read it in the meantime. Mr. Perry came in his uniform last night and had his Purple Heart pinned on. Apparently management gave him a hard time about not wearing his uniform and only wearing a security T-shirt. I got off work at 10:30, which was great. There just wasn't that much to do. About 10:15, I was asking various managers what I could do, when Shawn came up. He made one more valiant (HA!) effort. "What's up? I heard you was looking for me," he said. "No. I'm looking for Elizabeth." "Oh OK, I must have been misinformed." He sauntered off and went outside. He walked right past Mr. Perry, who was sitting behind a stack of dollies. He must have noticed that Shawn was wearing his dorky blue hat again, because he poked his head around the dollies, pointed to the door, and mouthed, "That him?" I made a face and nodded. He started chuckling to himself, and I heard him say, "Pah, Burger King!" I never gave Shawn I Kissed Dating Goodbye because my dad really did not like the idea. He said that's not the kind of crowd to joke around with like that. He didn't want me getting shot on the way out. I agree, it would have been a pretty dumb idea, but the death-and-mayhem part of me really wonders what would have happened if I had given it to him. Oh well!
So that was pretty much the extent of my night shift adventures. In a few hours I'm going into the office to get briefed on my next assignment. I'll be driving to various 7-11s tonight to see if they card me when I try to buy cigarettes. I guess I should figure out what brand I like. =P This job will only be a two day assignment, tonight and Monday night. It should be really fun! I'm also working my first banquet Saturday night. I'll be wearing a tux, except for the jacket. It should be interesting!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Midnight Madness Part 2
Well last night was just as interesting as the one before. When I first got there, Shawn came up to me and said, "I missed you last night." I didn't hear him properly at first, so I didn't say anything. He said again, "I really missed you." Barf. I was mad. I decided not to say anything at all, and instead make good use of the eye-contact lecture from Rhetoric. I looked hard into his pleading, puppy dog eyes, then deliberately looked away, slightly turning my back on him. He left. I ignored him for the rest of the night.
Around 11:00 P.M. I had to chase a box out to the dumpster. It had been tossed before we could read what department its contents needed to go to, so I ran out there. Shawn was there, along with Enon and Kwaku. Enon and I had talked about the Alice in Wonderland movie, and I told him he should read the book. So when I came out to the dumpster, Enon said, "Hey Kathleen! Where's my book?" "What?" I asked. "Where's my Alice in Wonderland? You were gonna give it to me!" I hadn't said anything about that, but I knew he was messing with me. Before I could answer, Shawn cut in in a whiny tone, "Man, she ain't givin' you NUTHIN'!" It was then that I determined to give Enon a copy of Alice. It just so happens that we have an extra copy sitting in the give-away box. So I will give it away.
On my way back into the building, Mr. Perry, the security guard, stopped me. "You didn't say hi to me when you came out," he exclaimed. "Sorry, I was on a mission," I responded, "but I was going to say hi to you on the way back in." "No, you didn't say hi to me when you came out," he huffed. "So I'm not taking you to Burger King now." I almost died laughing. "So is your 'boyfriend' here tonight?" he asked. "Yeah, he's right down there." "What? I missed him?" "Yeah, he's wearing the dorky blue hat. Can't miss him." "Oh, OK. Well, you want me to..?" He smiled and gave me a questioning look, and smashed his fist into his palm. I laughed again and told him to feel free. He grinned again, and said, "Well if he asks you again, you tell him you don't need his Burger King, because you got someone who'll take you to Red Lobster!" He winked at me, and I laughed and said I'd keep it in mind. Apparently Red Lobster is Mr. Perry's idea of fine dining.
Today as I told this story at breakfast, Lindsey said I should give Enon the book and Shawn a scrap of paper with the Rejection Hotline number. Then my mother, my dear sweet mother, had a different idea. I really can't believe she said this, either. "No, what you need to give Shawn is I Kissed Dating Goodbye." We all choked on our cereal and bagels and dubbed it a cunning plan. Lindsey said, "For that plan, I will give you my copy!" So tonight, Enon is getting Alice, but I think I'll wait until Wednesday night to give Shawn his present. Wednesday is the last night of this job, and I don't need to get myself killed before then. Oh yes, life is so much fun!
Around 11:00 P.M. I had to chase a box out to the dumpster. It had been tossed before we could read what department its contents needed to go to, so I ran out there. Shawn was there, along with Enon and Kwaku. Enon and I had talked about the Alice in Wonderland movie, and I told him he should read the book. So when I came out to the dumpster, Enon said, "Hey Kathleen! Where's my book?" "What?" I asked. "Where's my Alice in Wonderland? You were gonna give it to me!" I hadn't said anything about that, but I knew he was messing with me. Before I could answer, Shawn cut in in a whiny tone, "Man, she ain't givin' you NUTHIN'!" It was then that I determined to give Enon a copy of Alice. It just so happens that we have an extra copy sitting in the give-away box. So I will give it away.
On my way back into the building, Mr. Perry, the security guard, stopped me. "You didn't say hi to me when you came out," he exclaimed. "Sorry, I was on a mission," I responded, "but I was going to say hi to you on the way back in." "No, you didn't say hi to me when you came out," he huffed. "So I'm not taking you to Burger King now." I almost died laughing. "So is your 'boyfriend' here tonight?" he asked. "Yeah, he's right down there." "What? I missed him?" "Yeah, he's wearing the dorky blue hat. Can't miss him." "Oh, OK. Well, you want me to..?" He smiled and gave me a questioning look, and smashed his fist into his palm. I laughed again and told him to feel free. He grinned again, and said, "Well if he asks you again, you tell him you don't need his Burger King, because you got someone who'll take you to Red Lobster!" He winked at me, and I laughed and said I'd keep it in mind. Apparently Red Lobster is Mr. Perry's idea of fine dining.
Today as I told this story at breakfast, Lindsey said I should give Enon the book and Shawn a scrap of paper with the Rejection Hotline number. Then my mother, my dear sweet mother, had a different idea. I really can't believe she said this, either. "No, what you need to give Shawn is I Kissed Dating Goodbye." We all choked on our cereal and bagels and dubbed it a cunning plan. Lindsey said, "For that plan, I will give you my copy!" So tonight, Enon is getting Alice, but I think I'll wait until Wednesday night to give Shawn his present. Wednesday is the last night of this job, and I don't need to get myself killed before then. Oh yes, life is so much fun!
Monday, June 7, 2010
A Night at the Nordstrom
Well I haven't posted in about a million years, but life has been crazy. This Summer, I'm employed both by a temp agency that will send me wherever the money is, and by a company that provides banquets with servers. Last night was my first job with the temp agency. I was bummed that it was on Sunday, but they swore up and down that won't ever happen again, so I got over it. My shift was from 4:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. Nordstrom is renovating all of their fixtures (read: the things they hang the clothes on), and needed folks to offload the boxes, assemble the fixtures, deal with the garbage, etc. We ladies were told we'd be dressing mannequins, but that turned out to be a serious mis-communication, so we were doing the grunt work, too. That didn't bother me, since I'd done so much of that with Pottery Barn. Last night was just a reminder of how much I really love this kind of work. I had never worked a night shift like before, so it was quite the experience. I was the only white girl on the temp team of twenty five (there were other white girls working there, but not much with us), there were two middle aged white men, and one white guy from London in his twenties. Everybody else was black, but that didn't bother me. I hung mostly with the black girls, until they got too whiny about how we weren't dressing mannequins, and how "mean" the Nordstrom people were, blah blah blah, so I started working more with the guys. At 11:00 P.M. Nordstrom fed us dinner. We had salad, lasagna, and canoli, which I hadn't had in forever. Dinner was when the night got interesting.
I sat at a table with one of the white men on my right, and the London guy on my left, who had some black guys around him. There was an unopened soda sitting in front of me that no one came back to claim. Then a black dude named Shawn sauntered up and sat at that spot, saying, "Am I taking someone's seat?" I told him no, I hadn't seen anyone there. "That's 'cause I put it there," he said. "I don't believe you," I laughed in reply. "You don't? What you say if I told you I put it there just so I could sit across from you?" he asked. "Well, thanks for the compliment," I said, "but I still don't think you did." At that point, one of his buddies came up and asked Shawn to go back to the other table with him. "Would you miss me if I sat over there?" he asked. With dripping sarcasm, I said, "You'll break my heart if you go." "Well damn! I can't go now!" I laughed again, sure that he was just kidding around like I was. "You'll break his heart if you stay," I told him. "Either way, someone's heart is getting broken. Will it be mine or his?" Shawn thought for a minute, then got up and left. Ten minutes later, he came back, and this was our dialogue.
Shawn: So when we goin' on our first date?
Me: Excuse me? I'm not going out with you!
Shawn: You not?
Me: No!
Shawn: I've got a really big truck.
Me: I like really big trucks, but no. I'm not going out with you.
Shawn: I'll take you to Burger King.
Me: ...No.
Shawn: What, you don't like Burger King?
Me: I like their fries. No.
At this point, he finally got the idea and gave up his little game. Naive me thought he was still kidding, but I thought about it for a few minutes, then turned to the other guys and asked, "Wait, was he serious about all that?" "Yeah, yeah he was serious." I couldn't believe it. "But why?" I asked. "We don't even know each other!" "Well how's he supposed to get to know you unless you date him?" one of the black guys asked. "What's wrong, don't you date?" "I don't date unless I'm thinking I might marry the guy," I responded. And from there we launched into a huge debate about love, dating, marriage, etc. that I found highly amusing. They found me highly ridiculous, but that's fine. I got the typical don't-buy-the-car-until-you've-tested-it shpeel, the marriage-is-just-a-piece-of-paper lecture, the how-can-you-put-boundaries-on-love argument, the dang-you're-21-and-still-a-virgin deal, and so on. The British guy stayed 99% out of the argument (he chuckled occasionally), one black guy named Sheldon was my debator, and the other two were the peanut gallery, only good for laughing. So we went round and round, and at one point, Sheldon randomly said between arguments, "You know, the world needs more women like you." What? That totally blew me away! Here he was, totally bashing my standards and the Reason I hold them, and then basically congratulates me for it. It was so weird! Then we all headed back to work, and one of the two guys that laughed the whole time came up to me and said told me good job, keep it up. "You have no idea what a blessing you'll be to that man one day," he said. He's a Christian. When he laughed, I think he was laughing at the other guy. So he encouraged me, and we talked for a few minutes, and he was encouraged, too. I was completely shocked. It was interesting to think that if I had kept my big mouth shut, we wouldn't have found that common ground. A while later I was dumping garbage, watched by the security guard who had been in Vietnam, when Shawn came back. He said something to me again about going with him, then walked to the dumpster. The security agent said to me, "I think that guy does crack." I laughed and told him, "Yeah, he asked me on a date." "What? That dirtball?" "Yep. He wanted to take me to Burger King." "Burger King," he scoffed. "Well, for him, that would be pretty expensive. He'd probably make YOU pay when you got there!" He was pretty funny. But anyway, yes, I love my job, for all it's craziness. Off now for another round! I'll be home around 3:00 A.M.
I sat at a table with one of the white men on my right, and the London guy on my left, who had some black guys around him. There was an unopened soda sitting in front of me that no one came back to claim. Then a black dude named Shawn sauntered up and sat at that spot, saying, "Am I taking someone's seat?" I told him no, I hadn't seen anyone there. "That's 'cause I put it there," he said. "I don't believe you," I laughed in reply. "You don't? What you say if I told you I put it there just so I could sit across from you?" he asked. "Well, thanks for the compliment," I said, "but I still don't think you did." At that point, one of his buddies came up and asked Shawn to go back to the other table with him. "Would you miss me if I sat over there?" he asked. With dripping sarcasm, I said, "You'll break my heart if you go." "Well damn! I can't go now!" I laughed again, sure that he was just kidding around like I was. "You'll break his heart if you stay," I told him. "Either way, someone's heart is getting broken. Will it be mine or his?" Shawn thought for a minute, then got up and left. Ten minutes later, he came back, and this was our dialogue.
Shawn: So when we goin' on our first date?
Me: Excuse me? I'm not going out with you!
Shawn: You not?
Me: No!
Shawn: I've got a really big truck.
Me: I like really big trucks, but no. I'm not going out with you.
Shawn: I'll take you to Burger King.
Me: ...No.
Shawn: What, you don't like Burger King?
Me: I like their fries. No.
At this point, he finally got the idea and gave up his little game. Naive me thought he was still kidding, but I thought about it for a few minutes, then turned to the other guys and asked, "Wait, was he serious about all that?" "Yeah, yeah he was serious." I couldn't believe it. "But why?" I asked. "We don't even know each other!" "Well how's he supposed to get to know you unless you date him?" one of the black guys asked. "What's wrong, don't you date?" "I don't date unless I'm thinking I might marry the guy," I responded. And from there we launched into a huge debate about love, dating, marriage, etc. that I found highly amusing. They found me highly ridiculous, but that's fine. I got the typical don't-buy-the-car-until-you've-tested-it shpeel, the marriage-is-just-a-piece-of-paper lecture, the how-can-you-put-boundaries-on-love argument, the dang-you're-21-and-still-a-virgin deal, and so on. The British guy stayed 99% out of the argument (he chuckled occasionally), one black guy named Sheldon was my debator, and the other two were the peanut gallery, only good for laughing. So we went round and round, and at one point, Sheldon randomly said between arguments, "You know, the world needs more women like you." What? That totally blew me away! Here he was, totally bashing my standards and the Reason I hold them, and then basically congratulates me for it. It was so weird! Then we all headed back to work, and one of the two guys that laughed the whole time came up to me and said told me good job, keep it up. "You have no idea what a blessing you'll be to that man one day," he said. He's a Christian. When he laughed, I think he was laughing at the other guy. So he encouraged me, and we talked for a few minutes, and he was encouraged, too. I was completely shocked. It was interesting to think that if I had kept my big mouth shut, we wouldn't have found that common ground. A while later I was dumping garbage, watched by the security guard who had been in Vietnam, when Shawn came back. He said something to me again about going with him, then walked to the dumpster. The security agent said to me, "I think that guy does crack." I laughed and told him, "Yeah, he asked me on a date." "What? That dirtball?" "Yep. He wanted to take me to Burger King." "Burger King," he scoffed. "Well, for him, that would be pretty expensive. He'd probably make YOU pay when you got there!" He was pretty funny. But anyway, yes, I love my job, for all it's craziness. Off now for another round! I'll be home around 3:00 A.M.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)